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Hello, thank you for following Singlesunlimited. We do have a purpose and that's to bring back love, honesty, commitment, loyalty and trust back to relationships. We need to love ourselves so we can show love to others. We need to accept ourselves and accept others for who they are. We all can change something about ourselves to become a better person, we just need to figure out what it is we need to change and stop wasting time. We really need to trust God more and His timing.

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As I'm on my journey to love myself, I started thinking about my childhood. Is that the reason I don't love myself? I had a good childhood, my mother was the strong one and she kept it together. But, my father was an alcoholic. My only vivid memory of him when he was so drunk he forgot where the bathroom was. I don't think my mother and father loved each other or themselves. Yes, they cared about all 6 of us, which is another form of love. But there were no kisses and hugs and I love you. I think they didn't know about love so how are they supposed to show it or express it. After my two marriages it was time for me to learn about love and learn to love myself. I think I'm getting there.

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As I live my single life, I listen to people and look at their lifestyle, I have a better understanding why so many people are single. It's easier!!! Being in love and in a relationship takes too much work. Most people don't want to be vulnerable to love and being hurt or it just not working out. I know from experience that divorce is one of the hardest things in life. No one wants to be hurt or lose everything they worked for so long. We need to learn how to love better and/or be able to move on faster. I believe that's why I'm still single because it's easier. I still believe in love and right now if you don't want to be my friend first then I'm not interested. We need to learn to slow down and make better choices. Be friends first!!!

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Thank you for following Singlesunlimited. I hope that the quotes have helped someone, I know it's helping me. In a society where love is lost in more ways than one. Change is painful, growth is painful. Learning to love yourself is hard work. For so many years I didn't love myself and spent too much time chasing love in all the wrong places. Accepting myself, and looking in the mirror and realizing I am beautiful and I deserve someone who will treat me the way I deserve. Patience is hard, being alone is hard. I have faith that it's going to be worth the wait and hard work.

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Maybe, I'm crazy and think I could change the world and bring true love back to relationships. Maybe, it was always there and I haven't noticed, because I didn't know what true love was. I'm not talking about that love that being passed around as true love. The kind that said: I love you, but I don't respect you. I love you, but I don't trust you. I love you, but I can't be loyal to you. I love you, but I can't share my feelings and communicate them. I love you, but I can't support you. I love you, but I can't accept you for who you are. I love you, but I can't be your best friend. I love you, but I can't make a commitment to you. I love you, but I don't love myself. I'm not in a position to give anybody advice, because I'm not an expert; I'm learning myself. I do know we need to love ourselves, men and woman. Then you know your worth and what you deserve. But, we need to be patient. I also know that my next love will be my best friend. And, If that never happens I know that I will have self-love and I will be my best friend. I see all your faces and your comments. Peace and Love!

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Singlesunlimited is a singles’ social network dedicated to helping single people. Launched in 2014, Singlesunlimited is a social network for single people. Developed with the notion, that relationship building takes patience, experience, and a little luck, we’ve created a social network where diverse singles can come together and share laughter, friendship, and possibly love. We hope that you will continue to follow us.

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It's 2017, and I still have some work to do on myself. Do I love myself? (I'm still working on it). Have I fully healed from my past? (I'm getting there). Am I happy with being single?(I'm still working on it). Do I know myself and know what I want? (I'm getting there). Do I have a guarded heart? (yes). I feel that we should have a guarded heart, but at the same time be vulnerable. I don't have all the answers and I'm still learning. I know I need to be happy and have a healthy Mind, Body and Spirit. I know I need to work on having more patience. My goals are to work on building friendships, be more positive and show love to my family and friends. When I'm ready I'll know.

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Singlesunlimited's goal is to promote positive relationships. Relationships that have honesty, trust, respect, love, commitment, loyalty, communication, friendship and happiness. It's seems that most people have a lot of fear of being vulnerable and being emotionally available to accept what's needed to sustain a successful relationship.  I understand, I'm there also.  I haven't' given up. I still believe in love and know someone is out there made just for me. But, I have to do the work on myself and first I have to love myself. Learn how to be alone. Accept only what I deserve and that takes time and work on myself.

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These last few days have been kind of tough, because I realize I'm changing. A few days ago I just had to cry and let it out; It's okay to cry sometimes. I think I cried because I've been tying so hard to be strong. Not going back to my bad habits. It's takes a lot of strength to be strong. I'm understanding better about "Love." True love, self love. Growing up, I didn't get the kind of love, so I didn't know how to give it. But, it's more about how to "Love Yourself." Also, learning how to be patient. It's so important. You can't make someone love you. Be patient, love yourself, show love to your family and friends. Be happy!!

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I would have to say it hasn't been easy. Alone most the time, lonely some of the times. It takes a lot of strength to be alone. Longing for that attention you desire, but not really ready. Or maybe, it's just that fear of letting go. I can finally say that I feel like I'm healing from the past. Trying to move on from regret and guilt and making better decisions, especially with men. Learning how to be happy and unload the baggage. Waiting for someone who really wants to be in my life, instead of temporary attention. I deserve to have love and I deserve to love myself.

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Posted by on in Blog

I always believed in love. I always has a fantasy about falling in love; with another person. I always went after a guy who I was attracted too. I would chase him,  get involved intimately and thought I was in love. Not the case. Now I realize I was only infatuated. No one else was interested in loving me the way I wanted to be loved. Because, I didn't love myself. The only way I was going to get love was to love myself.

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While on the dating site (POF), I meet this guy. We had been talking from time to time. It took a long time to actually meet and we really had not done that much together. Long story short, he texted me about two weeks ago and asked me if I wanted to go to Knotts Berry Farm for their Halloween event(Knotts Scary Farm). I said sure, that would be fun. About, a week later, he calls me to discuss. He told me that it would be too expensive and wanted to do a movie and dinner. I said okay and we planned to go on the Saturday when I was off from work. On Wednesday, before that Saturday I texted him and said hello. I was hoping for a confirmation for Saturday. Saturday came and no response. After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion and asked myself, why am I trying to date this guy? We were not compatible at all. I guess I was trying to build a friendship that could turn into something more.  I decided to let this guy go and put him in the friend zone. It's Sunday, and still no communication from him. That was okay, because I know now what I was looking for in a man. I had to stop wasting my time with this guy.

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For as long as I can remember, I confused love with sex. I used sex to try and get the love and attention that I desired. Now, after so many years I know the difference. Even in my marriage, we weren't making love, we were having sex. When we got married I thought I was "In Love, I was only "In Like". We had a short relationship before we got married. Thinking back and during our 15 year marriage I never loved myself and I don't feel he truly loved me. Maybe, that's why he cheated on me.

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Being in a relationship is not going to make you happy. You have to figure out what you need to do to become happy. Do you need to fulfill a goal or a dream? After 2 marriages, it was my time to do what I wanted to do, accomplish the goals that I wanted. Be alone and wait for the special person that was going to make me smile, laugh and put me as their priority. Someone who would make me feel special and not worry that some other woman was more important. Every woman and man should have someone in their life who loves them and treat them as a priority at all times. Don't be afraid to be alone, but don't give up. Keep doing things that will make you a better person, inside and out.

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First marriage, 5 years. Second marriage 15 years; one child. I wonder sometimes if I even want to be in a relationship. Hell! Do I even want to get married again. It would be my third marriage. I'm thinking maybe I'm not cut out for relationships or maybe I'm just fed up with the bullshit I've been dealing with. I know it's all my fault. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Isn't that a song? I guess I'm really ready to do what I have to do to be a better person; work on my Mind, Body and Spirit. Waiting on the time when I feel like I love myself and learn to be happy alone.

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Posted by on in Blog

10/07/2016

Today, I realized that I was putting too much pressure on finding a mate. I was tired of being single. And, at 55 I thought I was running out of time. I got attention from men all the time. Unfortunately, I wasn't ready and getting attention from what I felt were the wrong men. I think it was more of not being ready. I wanted to know what it felt like to love myself. Was it truly what I needed. I decided to take myself off that crazy dating site. I made myself get back on it and I hated it. I deleted my profile and said to myself I was going to stop looking. It made so much sense. I felt relieved, no more pressure. I'm going to concentrate on myself. Keep exercising, eating right and stay on my paper chase. And, just learn to love myself and be alone until I was really ready.  Also, learn how to be patient. I knew I didn't want sex. I wanted love and affection.

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Hello and Happy Valentines Day...

If you are searching for some dating advice, or would like to explore what date coaching is all about, please inbox KBarber. 

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Posted by on in Blog

 

Do people really understand what commitment is in a relationship or marriage? I wondered sometimes if   I understood.  I’ve been married before and I remember most of words that were said by the Officiate who married us. Marriage vows: I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live. How can I understand what true commitment is in a relationship if I wasn’t exposed to it. Nobody explained it to me and I didn’t grow up in a home where my parents stayed together.

 

 As a child, my parents separated, so my mother was a single parent. My father was an alcoholic.  I guess my mother decided that she wasn’t going to stay in a marriage with an alcoholic. I wonder if she offered to help and support him so he wouldn’t drink anymore. Isn’t that what commitment is?   Maybe, if she stood by him and helped him change. Is that the definition of commitment?

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Watch a sunset

 

 Long walk on the beach

 

Walk in a park

 

Make out

 

Ride bikes

 

Cook a homemade dinner for two

 

Attend a community concert

 

Go to a museum

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